「結」、「解」與「結」：通過說故事達成自我轉化與生命實踐

Abstract

本研究主要研究的面向，是探究研究者之人格發展與自我轉化過程。研究方法是以敘事研究中的「自我敘事」做為研究之方法，依 McAdams 的「個人生命故事」所設計的步驟，敘說生命中的關鍵事件（最早記憶、童年記憶、青少年記憶、成年生活記憶等），從出生及父母的文化背景、重要人物、生活中的困境及難題、個人的價值及未來展望等步驟，經由回憶的敘說書寫與繪圖，回顧整個生命故事，找出生命故事主題，完成生命故事之文本。 研究者將生命歷程，分為三個階段：（1）童年生活與求學期間（2）職場生涯（3）退休生活。經由不斷的探索與自我的反思，體悟到，在生命的每一個階段中，都會因為有不同的困境，而產生不同的人生目標、行為模式與自我的人格發展。在探究中，看到自己的枷鎖陰影及人格面具，經由認識自己、接受自己，找回原本自在的人生，並經由回憶反思與轉化之過程，揭示生命的本質與未來的生活目標。「為學日益，為道日損」，研究者以兩個陀螺來詮釋自我轉化之人生，通過敘說、釐清及轉化的歷程（覺察、疑惑、反思，實踐）脫繭而出，由蛹蛻變成蝴蝶，最終走向自己生命中之「道」。

The main research of this study is to explore the personality development and self-transformation process of the researcher. The research method is based on "self-narrative" according to McAdams's "personal life story" (earliest memory, childhood memory, adolescent memory, adult life memory, etc.), from birth and parents' cultural background, significant people, stresses and problems in living, personal values and future script, etc., through the narrative of memories to write and draw, review the whole life story, find out the theme of life story, complete the text of life story. The researcher divided the course of life into three stages: (1) childhood and school experience (2) career (3) retirement life. Through continuous exploration and self-reflection, it is insightful that in every stage of life, there will be different life goals, behavior patterns and self development because of different dilemma. In the exploration, the researcher saw her own shadow and persona, through understanding herself, accepting herself, to find her original life, and through the process of reflection and transformation, to find the essence of life and future life goals. " Pursue Knowledge by Addition ; Pursue Dao by Subtraction ". The researcher used two gyros to interpret the transformation of life, through the narrative, clarify and transformation of the course (awareness, doubt, reflection, practice) out, from the dragonfly into a butterfly, and finally towards the "Dao." that belongs to her life.