尋找童年的天后宮媽祖廟-一位社工助人者的探尋、覺解與實踐

Abstract

社工工作內容繁雜，工作壓力過大，很容易出現倦怠感。助人者藉由自我敘說探討自身的困境，梳理及統整社工助人經驗，經由解構與重新建構的過程，以新的視框理解自我對專業社工的期待，整合在社工專業體制的衝突與迷失。 研究者從小林村消失，連結至成長過程中的廟埕、眷村也早已物換星移，在不斷敘說與反思中，逐步擴展更多元的視角、重建與檢視助人的意義與價值；並在來來回回螺旋狀的發展歷程中，幡然醒悟，原來是自己始終抱著童年天后宮媽祖廟的圖像不放，並將之投射於工作中，想要透過專業的助人工作，重現那童年的溫情，才會在二十多年來的社工路上跌跌撞撞，與社會現實、社會工作專業體制矛盾不斷。 這個發現，也讓研究者看到，在高壓體制中，研究者在夾縫中的真情流露，原是珍貴的資源和力量，滋養著研究者始終不曾放棄助人的熱情。敘說至此，研究者練習放下童年已不存在的夢境，並跳脫社工專業憧憬，重新定義專業助人的意義與價值，正大光明的走菩薩道，終於為自己找到生命的方向與定位。

I have been working as a social worker over 20 years which makes me being exhausted with the heavy workload and job stress easily. By self-narrative reviewing and analyzing on individual constraints, I have been inspired by being stuck in the conflict and lost in the social work services as a social-worker. I, therefore, expect a new interpretation and integration of my own experiences in the process of deconstruction and reconstruction research, so as to redefine the value of social worker profession to resolve my conflict at the same time. The research starts from the discussion of disappearance of Xiao-Lin village (C.小林村), connecting the growing-up memory of memorable temple and the variable village in which the researcher grew up. With constant self-narrating, the researcher’s retrospect of the past experience and self-dialogue broadens and re-examines the value and meaning for helping others with an expansion of versatile angles in the study. Therefore, this back-and-forth spiral process of the development for the new perspective helps the researcher to have a sudden realization. With a memory of childhood’s impression on the image of Matzu Temple, it had shaped the researcher’s inspiration of helping people and dreaming of becoming a social worker from that time so as to struggle and resolve the contradiction in the social worker profession. Nevertheless, the study makes the researcher reveals a sheer sentiment and realizes such passion originating from precious resources and energy which nourish the researcher to exist under coercive system and society. By narrating to here, the researcher has practiced to break through the childhood’s dream without yearning the specialty of social workers. The researcher has redefined the meaning and value of helping people with profession so as to further walk Bodhisattva path brightly and find out the life direction and position.