互為主體的辨認與實踐— 家族故事交匯與同理

Abstract

透過敘說研究，來描述自己與家族的生命故事，讓自己生命中的待解問題暫時有了解答。藉著撰寫這部生命故事，使自己從中得到療癒和成長。因為自己身為一位教師，我認為在未來的課程與教學中，教導學生如何認識自己是一項重要的能力素養，也是培養他們面對未來生命教育的學習。此篇論文的產出，除了同理自己和家族外，我也認識到社會建構與主體性有著密不可分的關係。 本論文包括三個部分撰寫，一、曾祖父母、祖父母以及父親的家族故事，二、我和原生家庭的關係，三、家族、家庭和未來的教職專業。對我而言，家是滋養人長成的搖籃，也是壓迫人的地方。無常的際遇、手足的離世、父親的外遇。一切看似生命中無解的問題，它們都困擾著我。由於論文的撰寫，我與家族長輩們展開訪談，甚至意外的與父親對話，解開了我所有的問題，同時我也學習到如何同理家族長輩們的生命際遇和感受。 最後，我了解家族的生命故事，上一代長輩們的家庭結構、生活背景與社會歷史脈絡，以及覺察到自己部分的生命經驗。我深刻體會到生命的承載與相互影響；在具體而特殊的社會脈絡中開展與流竄。經由敘說研究，讓我對家有了新的理解和詮釋，也讓自己擁有新的視框與力量面對我的家，並且接納過去的自己。

By the narrative research to describe the most valuable and meaningful experiences of my life, I solved some of the statements about myself and my family to be discussed. However, but there are still some issues that I have not solved them, yet. I am able to become stronger by using the narrative research that creates my own path in my future teaching. As far as curriculum and teaching are concerned, I believe that independent thinking is an important part of lessons for students. Additionally, I empathize for my family through this thesis. I clearly understand people’s characteristics are inseparable from the cultural traditions in the society. The thesis includes three parts. The first part is about my great-grandparents, grandparents, and my father. The second part reveals the relation between my family and me. The third part explains the family expectation of my teaching career. Love and respect are important for my family members. It is the place, where nourished my life; however, it has also been oppressing me. There are many missing pieces that confused me such as the death of my siblings, and the fact of my father’s love affairs has occupied my life experiences. So many missing pieces confuse me. Because of this research, I have begun constructive dialogues with my families. Most importantly, I confront my father. The process of the dialogue has completed my life. This research has been expanded my understanding of the feelings and thinking of my family. Finally, I recognized my family’s story, the family’s chronicle, and the social and historical contexts of the previous generation of my family at that time. I am aware of my journey and their story has a strong influence on me. Everyone’s life has his or her own uniqueness and characteristics. The narrative research helps me understand the genuine meanings and definitions of the family all over again. I acquire the newest perspective, regain my personal power to face my family and accept my own imperfections in the past.